Chatham County Line

what's next?

2010-05-01T08:26:00.000-07:00

Jeff and the kids and the little dogs have all gone to Maryland for a few days. Jeff is fixing up the Gannon porch. I decided to stay home with Basho and fix up our own house and maybe finish my grading once and for all. I'm not planning on teaching that requires this kind of grading ever again. Soo happy about that. So.

The day is already hot and sticky. People wanting to preach to me actually made it all the way to the front door this morning before I or Basho recognized that these were strangers knocking on the door. I don't think that's ever happened before. How weird is that? I can't imagine being them, driving up some lonesome gravel road all the way to very end to find this small house surrounded by way too much detritus and thinking, yep, these are folks who'd really be interested in hearing from me in my suit about how jesus saves. Weird.

I'm glad for the sleeping in, but I miss my family. It feels strange to be home alone like this--lonesome. I miss Ossie being a super hero and his spectacular moves and his smile that lights up the whole world. I miss Matilda singing and drawing and finding gross things and sitting by my side with her messy hair. I miss Jeff and his sunshine. They've only been gone 8 hours. I think I'm going to clean house and then join them, is what I think.

Daycare blues

2009-03-09T13:13:00.001-07:00

dad and matilda
Originally uploaded by Woody Dam Road

The one constant source of anxiety that Jeff and I have faced as parents is child care, and the lack of decent and affordable options. We don't live near family, and thus we pay dearly for every hour we are not physically with our kids. Of course, as my previous entry discussed, the kids are also paying dearly it seems (which is, of course, not to denegrate daycare, which I think is an awesome thing. It's just not working great for old Ossie).

Today, I received word that I will be teaching two online courses this summer.

Of the good: 1. I don't physically have to come to work. 2. I get paid.

Of the bad: What will we do about the kids?

My mind cannot stop spinning to Figure This Out Now. I am not a person who rests easy with uncertainty. I like having decisions made already. We had originally planned to take the kids completely out of daycare starting June 1, when I can be home with them. Then we would commence our summer of abandon, flinging care (and financial security) to the wind!

But now...I'm not so sure that's going to work. My summer workload just reached the tipping point of Too Much: teach two writing intensive classes in a short 8 weeks, do books and paperwork for Jeff's business, bake bread for the CSA, and be full time mama to wild summer children?

We could keep them in daycare, I guess. But! I! dont! want! to! The whole point was to get them out. Back to the drawing board. Again.

Cute picture courtesy of Nana Luby.

6 months gone

2009-02-25T07:01:00.000-08:00

It's been awhile, no?

The quest for good child care is seriously unfun. 6 months ago, we began our search in earnest. Up until then we had put together a patchwork of care that included me, Jeff, a very part-time babysitter, and part-time preschool. Then Jeff was forced to sit home for two weeks straight because of various babysitter issues. We thought that we wanted either a homecare sitauation or a good, reliable (non-texting) babysitter.

Our look into home daycare situations left me chilled--rusted trampolines without safety nets, yards without fences on major country roads, cigarettes, etc. etc. etc. Every single house we went into had a big screen TV which was turned on and never turned off, even while we sat and chatted about our kids. Isn't that messed up? I think it is.

We also knew that a babysitter was problematic. We'd been using one who, while fairly reliable, still got sick and had life issues that meant that we had to scramble for alternate care far too frequently. We also worried that a babysitter would not be as focused on engaging our kids in activities.

So we started the kids in full-time daycare at a Spanish Immersion school back in October. We were so relieved when we visited--the rooms were bright and sunny, the kids actively engaged in doing things, the toys were clean and safe. We were all, where do we sign up? FYI: the cost is unreal. We could buy two new cars a year with what we pay for daycare. Cheap, eastern european new cars, but still. To me, this is nuts. But I digress.

As a result, Jeff has finally able to get his business off the ground, and I am about a 100,000 times less stressed because I have actual time to do my actual paid job instead of rushing home between classes to relieve the babysitter. Both things of the good.

However (didn't you know there would be one of those?). We had our very first parent-teacher conference yesterday. We knew there would be issues. Ossie can be, how shall I say it?, high energy? high needs? high mantainance? Yes. We had hoped to use the conference to brainstorm some strategies that might work to help him, I don't know, blossom a bit more in this environment. He's not great with rules or tight structures or learning centers. He is great with being a good friend, running around outside, working, engineering new toys and inventions, and making butt crack jokes. Those are his specialties. We went in to the conference with our list of ideas and questions and we never got a chance to really ask them or talk. Instead, we got a bleeping report card that shows Ossie not doing well in just about everything.

I don't want to be a parent who blames the teachers for her kids not being successful. But dudes. He's THREE. They showed how he can do important things like write his letters (three. he's three. he doesn't need to be writing flipping letters) if a teacher is sitting right next to him, but he won't do if she's not. And they also find him to be overly emotional and generally unfocused. He's THREE.

Obviously, we are not on the same page. His teacher is very nice, but very rules and obedience oriented. She also just really doesn't seem to respond that well to Ossie. What are you going to do, though? We need child care, and this is about as good as we can get in our neck of the woods. They learn Spanish and have some lovely cross-cultural activities that I really like. And Matilda IS blossoming and HAS the most lovely awesome teacher.

What we are hoping is that I can quit come May. Cross your fingers and hope Obama's stimulus saves the day so Jeff can keep working.

I'm starting to get excited by this prospect. I'm collected ideas for activities with the kids, as well as phone numbers for potential playmates. We do live in an isolated setting, and I am ridiculously introverted, so that last piece is one that I'll have to really work on.

I'm hoping to restart this blog as place to post ideas for how the kids and I will fill our days, as well as a place to think about the lost arts of homemaking. In a feminist way. We'll see how it all shakes out.

growing up

2008-08-20T10:46:00.001-07:00

walking stick
Originally uploaded by Woody Dam Road

This morning Ossie wanted to lie in bed, alone, listening to Pearl Jam's "Better Man" over and over. And he wanted milk in his sippy cup. He did NOT want his babysitter (who is lovely, not incidently). When did this kid enter this cranky goth phase? Soon he will be writing bad poetry in spiral bound notebooks (or starting his own blog, heavenforfend). But, since I am pretty sure I have always been stuck in the poetry-writing misanthropic phase, I was touched. Isn't it hilarious that Pearl Jam is the favorite band of both kids? I wish I had taken a picture of Matilda rocking out while Ossie pretended to play the drums.

I know we haven't updated here in forever. We mean to, and often. Suffice to say that we are well, Matilda is one already (birthday pictures at our flickr account), the fall semester is about to begin and summer is nearly over. Le sigh.

2008-07-01T06:54:00.000-07:00

I'm at work, which means no pictures again. This is always my dilemma. The only place with time and non-children space to write is at work (apologies to The Man for writing in this blog on his dime), but our flickr site is blocked (Riddle me this: I work at an insitution of higher learning and yet I cannot access about 7/8 of the Internet).

So no picture. If I could share two pictures, they would be these:

1. Matilda, poised on her two unsteady legs, a look of determination or "don't leave me!" or joy on her face. Or all three. Which is to say, she's gone and done it. She walks. Justlikethat! We were completely surprised by this development as she just recently decided to become mobil. She never really spent a lot of time using furniture to cruise around the place. She just stands right up in the middle of the floor and bam. Walking like a little drunkard. She really didn't like getting left in the dust by her older brother. Off she goes.

2. Jeff as a kid about Ossie's age, lying on the floor next to his trucks, looking at them the way kids do. I could show you that exact picture of Ossie, with that exact look of rapt attention on his face.

Ossie has been alternating charming and dreadful this summer. The charming: he walks me to the car in the morning as I leave for work. Once, he shut the door for me and said, "call us if you need anything!" Ha! So cute! He said to Jeff yesterday, as Jeff purchased train tickets for their big boys train ride to DC (happening in August), "I love you very much." Which killed Jeff, I happen to know.

But the dreadful is very dreadful. Typical toddler harranging and whining and throwing oneself against the wall because the terrible parents happened to have opened the popsicle from the wrong end! Or grabbed the chips out of the bag instead of pouring them!

Next update to include finished deck photos (yay! deck!) and/or picture from our upcoming last minute journey to DC this weekend. This is probably a terrible idea (last minute travel plans with a newly walking baby and a tempermental 2 year old? What?). But we're a-doing it anyway. Fun!

Welcome Ally Mae

2008-06-25T11:19:00.000-07:00

A request: think good thoughts one and all about Ally Mae, a very recent arrival on this here earth.

Dear Britt on the Distant Train had her little girl last Thursday. I am so happy for this family (hot dog, a girl!), but I think we need to have some positive energy blasts over there. Ally Mae is still in the hospital. Send a prayer up to wherever those things go for her to please please come home.

The no picture entry

2008-06-17T08:18:00.000-07:00

Round two of the grandparents bonanza is in full swing this week. Jeff's folks are in town to woo their grandkids and make our garden and house pretty again. Ossie is easy. He ran into the bathroom while I was in the midst of my morning ablutions, busting with happiness. A new bird book! From Grandma and Pop-pop!

He bursts with happiness often these days. Yesterday, jumping across a broomstick, he yelled, "I'm flying!" And then crashed to the ground. Over and over again.

Two mornings ago, I came out of the bedroom to find him skipping high, singing "Chim-chimeny chim-chimeny!" Mary Poppins! Woo! Anything but the Wiggles, is what I say.

Of course we are also midway through horrible illnesses. First, Ossie and his ear infection. Now Matilda is just miserable with pink eye. Ugh.

Speaking of that babilicious baby, Matilda isthisclose to walking. She's funny--she has no failure of imagination when it comes to her physical abilities. You know how most kids (Ossie included) can probably walk before they dare actually, you know, walk? She keeps thinking she can walk already, and always seems rather surprised that she can't.

dressed in cedar

2008-06-09T20:11:00.001-07:00

Team work
Originally uploaded by caroleluby

We dressed the deck out in cedar. The tree that's encompassed, we returned to at the end and scroll cut a nice circle around it giving it two plus inches all the way around. As the tree grows, I'll have to do this every so often but as it's a white oak, it shouldn't be but every few years. Also as the kids get older, I can push the scroll cut to a four inch gap between deck and tree. The poplar's have semi circles between them and the deck.

Eventually, I'll also have to cut the joist closest to the tree and sister another to it with spacer blocks but, again, this shouldn't be for awhile nor should it be very difficult when that time comes.

Tree house

2008-06-09T19:55:00.001-07:00

Tree house
Originally uploaded by caroleluby

We also get a bunch of work done when Grnadpa and Nana are about. Here's a shot of the joists for the deck. I set these earlier in the month with Kim. We spaced around one tree entirely (the white oak) and accomodated two more (the poplar that you see here with it's three branching forks).

Watching the guys work

2008-06-09T19:48:00.001-07:00

Watching the guys work
Originally uploaded by caroleluby

Grandpa and Nana Luby took off this past Saturday after a week's visit. Actually, we had Nana with us for two and then when Grandpa returned from England, he joined us here in good ole Carolina.

It's always a treat to have these two with us in lots of ways. They're in tight with the kids, we eat great food and drink a plenty, we play cards and cut up. Molly and I got a date night during their visit (saw Baby Momma and'd have to say it was quite good--Tina Fey fans we are). We also have this unique blessing of getting to see our lives through the eyes of Nana who has a knack with a camera and pays attention to the smaller things in life. This is a special treat as it reminds us in the busy-ness of our daily doings how many wonderful small moments occur and to appreciate these brief happenings in time.

the mystery of the squeaky toy.

2008-05-24T11:52:00.001-07:00

house stuff 066
Originally uploaded by Woody Dam Road

The other night after putting Ossie to bed across the hall (across the breezeway to what is the right side of the house in this image) we heard the sounds of a squeaky toy through the baby monitor. All three dogs were with us though and all sans squeaky toys.

I went out to check on the kids but paused in the breezeway. The back side of the breezeway (opposite image here) is quite elevated and feels a bit like you're in the tree tops. It was dark, only the trees close to us were illuminated. Down, out of sight, in the darkness was squeak, squeak, squeak--something playing with a squeaky toy.

Mystery remains unsolved but we're glad another dog didn't show up on our doorstep. The night before Cowboy joined us, I went out to get something. Knowing exactly where it was the thing I wanted to retrieve, I ventured out without a flaslight, groping blind in the new moon dark. Just as I was reaching for the item, this thing growled at me--close enough to feel its breath on my out reached hand. Next day, this little mutt, at most 10 pounds, joins our family.

Best guess here is that it was a racoon.

house stuff 071

2008-05-18T21:04:00.001-07:00

house stuff 071
Originally uploaded by Woody Dam Road

Here's our modest little place how it looked last week. Finally got the joists for the deck laid out--no decking yet! All the structural lumber is pressure treated stuff from a local building supply place. We're going to deck it out in cedar though so anything that the kiddos can come into contact with will be inert (and pretty looking, I might add). I bought the cedar from Robbins whose place is not two miles from us. He runs a two person logging operation where he fairly sustainably cuts pine. He keeps the cedar for himself and mills it on a band saw mill and then sells it on the side.

Recently Robbins has been logging a few acres of our neighbors property so Ossie has gotten to see Richard Scarry's account of What Do People Do All Day firsthand, for himself. The other day, Ossie went with me to Robbin's place to pick up some cedar. This was a drawled event, in time without rush, where the destination is approached sideways. It's one of the things I love about the rural South.

Ossie was shy at first with the unfamiliar dogs that were first to greet us but soon enough climbed out of the truck and, in affirmation that all was alright, listed the names of our dogs for Robbins. Ossie wandered with his new dog friends between stacks of cedar and around the mill while Robbins and I talked. We checked out the pool, chatted with Robbins' wife and daughter, watched a blue bird tending to a new nest, and then loaded cedar. It was the perfect way to procure lumber.

On the way back home, we stopped at the place where Robbins had finished logging but still had cedar logs stacked waiting to be brought back to his place. Ossie and I talked about the whole process, from tree, to being felled, to Robbins' mill, to lumber, to us buying it (in this case for a job I'm working on). We smelled the cedar and picked up a piece to bring home and share with momma.

pulling the house down the hill

2008-05-09T07:20:00.001-07:00

pulling the house down the hill
Originally uploaded by Woody Dam Road

This is our old cat/pig food house. When we first moved here and were living in the rv trailer, we set up this elaborate pen for our pigs and cats. This was back in January '07 so we built this little shed outta scrap to pen up the cats for a couple of weeks in the hope they'd stick around. With my allergies, and the cramped conditions, there was no way we could add six cats (1--3/4 feral) to me, Ossie, a pregnant Molly, and two dogs (at that time) to the trailer so this was where they ended up.

I don't think the pen with it's three types of fence held The Orange Cat (the feral one) more than a day or two. After about a week, Tim found his way out and to our saddness, hit the road. In short time, all the cats found their way in and out of the pen. Soon, the pigs busted out and now everybody wanders fenceless. With it's disuse, we decided to turn this structure into a garden shed and play house for Ossie and Matilda.

First step was to move it down the hill closer to the garden. I enjoy moving things like this but sort of approached this one recklessly, relying mostly on rigging and the Rav to drag this thing down hill. Though you can't see it here, I also used some logs as rollers to ease the friction of the skids on the ground. I did most of this around hanging out with the kids so it took a couple of days but it's now sitting nice where we want it.

rain

2008-05-09T07:00:00.001-07:00

rain
Originally uploaded by Woody Dam Road

Ossie and I had the chance the other day to burn a brush pile. We've had rain for a couple of days so we set to it. The pile's nestled in a tight spot so I've been nervous to light it (I'm outta practice--used to do this all the time) but in my cautiousness, we only managed to burn half the pile before the rain put it out.

The pile is down by his swing and he's recently discovered the pleasure of pushing Matilda. The happiness is two ways and I'm starting to wonder if Matilda shares some of Ossie's daredevilness. Her whole face grins with delight at Ossie's efforts and the thrill of swinging.

2008-05-04T12:59:00.000-07:00

Trying for a free, new ergo: Win a Free Ergo Baby Carrier from Along for the Ride

springtime boy

2008-05-04T07:54:00.001-07:00

big brother
Originally uploaded by Woody Dam Road

Ossie has been taking his big brother duties very seriously lately. He likes to remind Matilda that he is her big brother while giving her hugs and/or tickling her. As her big brother, he tells her all about life here on earth. Daddy is HER daddy too! And this is OSSIE'S WAGON. And! Apples come from TREES! We live on Woody Dam Road! Grandpa and Nana are in Florida! He likes to teach her to sign by actually grabbing her hands and attempting to make the signs with her. Favorite signs: more, hungry? bath. He also tries doing the ABCs with her at naptime. He's got a sweet high singing voice and he skips half the letters and it's utterly charming. He does a mean Matilda impression, too. There is much loud laughing and tongue wagging involved.

Another development in the world of Oz: he has become very interested in where everything comes from. For awhile his number one question was, "what's that?" Now his question is, "who made that?" He knows our chair came from Ikea, apples are from trees, birds are from eggs (made by a mama and daddy), sausage comes from turkeys (which, in our house, and considering the pigs, it does). In addition to "who made that?", Ossie wants to know "What's his name?" about everybody. This one stumps us more frequently. I've taken to making names up (her? why that's Maude!), but he doesn't like my names! He tells me no most of the time.

Ossie's current favorite book is One Morning In Maine, a gift from our friend Laura. I think he likes the quietness of this book. He doesn't like anything with monsters (I'm looking at you, Where the Wild Things Are). He's got a fearful imagination, which reminds me of Jeff, who is still afraid of aliens and Big Foot. Neither is afraid of anything that might actually remotely happen to them. They regularly climb up things that should not be climbed, and thow themselves in places that should not be entered. But show them pictures of fictional monsters, and they both get rubber-kneed.

Ossie is nearly completely out of diapers, which is so very exciting. We've hatched a plan with his preschool teacher to move him out of them completely this summer in camp. Like every parent everywhere, I can't believe how fast all of this is happening.

baby girl

2008-04-27T14:32:00.001-07:00

february
Originally uploaded by Woody Dam Road

I'm typing one-handed as Matilda continues her afternoon snooze on my lap. We've had a great time today putting blocks into buckets, practicing standing up, and getting dirty in the garden. She is at the most perfect age. We are beginning to see who she is. Everything in the world pleases her. The cats, the dogs, OSSIE, her daddy. She eats like crazy (a refreshing change, I have to admit, from our other child, whose diet consists of milk, peanut butter, fish sticks, turkey kielbasa, and, sometimes, hummus. Trying to get that kid interested in vegetables has been...well..it just hasn't happened) and she loves intense flavors. She loves new people and never minds who holds her. She's got this wacky handful of hair that hangs down in her eyes. She's tough and laid-back. In other words, she's perfect.

april 26 089

2008-04-26T20:56:00.001-07:00

april 26 089
Originally uploaded by Woody Dam Road

We finally got our footers for the deck poured today. I used (18) 80lb bags for 5 footers with 12" sonotubes. Though it wasn't easy, it wasn't too bad. The digging was the hardest part. I worked around a few tree roots on trees I wanted to save and cut others. The deck will encompass one tree entirely--a white oak and just about bump against two others--a poplar and red oak. I could smell the poplar roots if I cut them. If I had more time I think I'd of looked into procuring fly ash to mix with the concrete in order to reduce the initial energy output concrete requires. If the rain holds I may start some carpentry tomorrow, bolting together girders.

We're going with Forest Stewardship Council pressure treated wood for all of the structural members on the deck. The deck itself, however, will be dressed out in cedar puchased just up the road not two miles from here. It'll require periodic oiling but in terms of safety for the kids and sustainability, cedar'd be hard to beat.

Bear Creek

2008-04-26T07:31:00.001-07:00

Dry Bear Creek Bed
Originally uploaded by caroleluby

The kids and I made peanut butter sandwiches for breakfast and took them along with us on a quick early morning hike to the creek this morning. I love these cool spring dawns. I know the heat will be here soon enough.

For those who don't know, we bought 10 acres of woods on Bear Creek in southern Chatham County, NC a couple of years ago.

We like the idea of raising our kids in a place where they can run around in the woods, build forts, look at bugs and flowers, grow vegetables, have pigs and chickens (well...if Jeff gets his way, that is).

Jeff has long held the dream of building his own house and this place seemed the perfect location to finally realize that dream. We knew we wanted to try out some green building techniques (passive solar, for instance) and materials (we used SIPS panels for the house, along with locally and sustainably harvested wood). The house design has been evolving since its conception. We are nearing the finish line in phase one of the building. We have already decided on several changes we'll need to make before next winter, but for now, we are almost content to relax just a bit. Jeff has been splitting his time between being stay-at-home dad and building this house (and teaching, and doing other odd jobs) for a long time.

I hope Jeff will have a chance to get on here and post pictures of the house along with some commentary about the building process soon. But that, my pretties, is a post for another day.

Until then, let's all just enjoy the last drops of April.

garden!

2008-04-22T17:14:00.000-07:00

We spent Sunday making our kid-sized garden. Small ambitions this year. Here's one of the three raised beds:

Two of the beds are chock full 'o tomatoes and peppers and basil--the heroes of summertime gardens.

We reserved the third bed for Ossie's strawberries, which Jeff got today, along with a pretty blueberry bush.

It's nice to turn our attention to growing things.

Jeff and Ossie's homemade bird feeders:

During the winter we filled these almost every day. This one has been half full for a month. The birds are happy with their new springtime provisions.

We are too.

blogging family style

2008-04-20T07:57:00.000-07:00

Jeff and I have been talking aimlessly about doing a family blog for ages. Two things happened this Sunday morning to make me actually make a move:

1. Watching Ossie garden this morning. Springtime, cute vegetables in their cute raised beds, NOT being pregnant, and Chatham county NC all conspired to get me documenting their wonderfulness. I am unusually terrible at documenting. In fact, I am often opposed to documenting life things. I like the strange patchwork and leaps of memory. And yet...

2. Jeff drew the short straw and I got to sleep in.